Ben:   You can’t win, Darth. Strike me down and I’ll become more
powerful than you can possibly imagine. During my long
years on Tatooine, my old master has taught me how to
save me from death itself.

Vader: You don’t think I’ll fall for THAT one again!!

Yoda: Luke, you must finish the training!

Luke: I have to go, they’re my friends, I have to help them!

Yoda: You must not go.

Luke: And sacrifice Han and Leia…

Yoda: If you honor what they fight for, yes.

Luke: … and Threepio, and Chewbacca, and …

Yoda: CHEWBACCA? What do you wait for, young one? Off your ass,
get you, and save them!!!

Ben:   That boy is our only hope.

Yoda: No, there is another.

Ben:   Another?

Yoda: Hmpfh. Forgotten about Leia, have you, Obi-wan?

Ben:   Oh… yes, Leia.

Yoda: Have something to say do you, Obi-Wan?

Ben:   Oh… nothing.

Yoda: Obi-wan…

Ben:   Well it’s rather embarrassing. I dropped Leia Amidala on
her head when we were taking her to Alderaan. The woman you
know as Leia Organa is in fact Bail’s natural daughter.

Yoda: WHAT, Obi-Wan?

Ben:   Well why did you think Vader didn’t sense the Force in her
on the Death Star? I’m sorry, Master Yoda, but it can’t
be helped. Leia Organa doesn’t have a blessed midichlorian
in her.

Yoda: Hmfp. Keep this to ourselves, we must, Obi-Wan. Still
desires her attention, young Skywalker does, and know
we that love is the path to the dark side. If more
serious it gets, tell him she’s his sister anyway. Put
a stop to his longings, it will.

Ben:   Yes, Master Yoda.

Luke: Leia, do you remember your mother? Your real mother?

Leia: Well yes, she was very beautiful. But sad. Wait, what do
you mean my “real” mother?

Luke: Leia, this won’t be easy for you to hear but Queen Organa
wasn’t your real mother.

Leia: Luke Skywalker, are you saying my father was cheating
on my mother?

Luke: Uh no, I didn’t say that. But it’s true, you were not
born an Organa.

Leia: And you heard this from…?

Luke: Obi-Wan… a few days ago.

Leia: Obi-Wan. Luke, I know you’ve been busy but did you
happen to notice that Obi-Wan is dead?

Luke: He… got better.

Leia: He got better.

Luke: Uh…

Leia: Ok. So just who is my “real” mother?

Luke: The Senator from Naboo.

Leia: My father was sleeping with Palpatine?

Luke: No! Not that Senator, the Senator that succeeded him.

Leia: What, that Gungan Senator – Jar Jar something or other?
That one that all the history tapes say was the fool
that put Palpatine in power?

Luke: No! The Gungan was only a representative – your real
mother was Senator Padme Amidala of Naboo.

Leia: Luke, really. I know that Obi-Wan disliked politicians
but for him to suggest that I’m the illegimate daughter
of two amourous Senators…

Luke: No, Leia, you’re not illegitimate. Senator Padme was
married when she conceived of you.

Leia: Married to whom?

Luke: Um… Darth Vader.

Leia: My father was sleeping with Darth Vader’s wife?

Luke: Uh…

Leia: So that’s why Vader was so eager to destroy Alderaan!

Luke: No, I don’t think that was it… aww, I give up.
Artoo! Hey, Artoo. I have to go surrender to the
Imperials. Just explain it all to Leia, will you?