Dont h8 me coz im fit, h8 me coz your boyfriend thinks so!

I jus thort of sumthin funny, ya mum!!

Im not smilin at u, im tryin not 2 laff!!

Im feelin a lil off 2day, any1 wanna turn me on?

Is that a pencil down ur pants or r u just happy 2 see me?

I knew sumthin was rong wen my imaginery friends wudnt play wit me…

Scientists say 1 out of 4 ppl r crazy, check 3 friends, if they r ok, then
ur it!

Wot cruel person put the ‘s’ in lisp?

Its not the length n its not the size, its how many times u can make it

Riding in the dark can b dangerous, u gota watch out 4 the humps!

Us blondes r soo lucky! Brunettes dont hav an excuse 4 acting stupid!

Ma name aint elmo, but tickle me neway!

Girls r like bakeries, the lads always go 4 the tarts!

May your life be like toilet paper, long and useful!

We had gay burglers last nite, they re-arranged the furniture!

Finally 18, n legal 2 do wot I did wen I was 14!

U betta take sum sleepin pills coz the only way ur gona get me is in ur

Its always betta 2 be pissed off than 2 be pissed on!

Caution: im mental! communicate wit me at ur own risk!

Nobodys perfect, therefore I am nobody!

Sorri can u repeat that? I had a bit of a blonde moment!
Im not a tease, Im just a reminder or what u cant hav!

Ur like my maths book, u hav lots of problems!

Lads treat us girls like cd’s, we keep on gettin played!

Dig a lil hole, plant a lil seed, grow a lil tree, smoke a lil weed!

First came fire, then came a flame, then came a girl no lad can tame!

If your naughty go 2 your room, if u wna be naughty come 2 mine!

Lads r like car park spaces, all the good ones r taken!

If all the lads lived in the sea, wot a amazin swimmer I wud be!

Its not the size of the boat, its the motion in the ocean!

I may not be a flinstone, but i can sure make your bed rock!

Sweet by light, naughty by night!

Im a genie in a bottle and your a tramp in a lamp!

U call me a bitch like its a bad thing! bitch = dog, dog = bark, bark =
tree, tree = nature, nature = beautiful! so thank-u!

When Im Not In My Right Mind My Left Mind Is Pretty Crowded!

Dont drink and drive, u mite spill your drink!

~And on the 8th day, god sobered up~

If lovin was against the law and kissin was a crime, id gladly spend my life
4 u in prison doin time

*Happiness is wen ur addicted 2 lickin urself*

Sex is like snow…you dont know how many inches you’ll get or how long it
wil stay!!

When I die I wana be buried upside down so the whole world can kiss my ass!!

Sex is like pringles, once u pop u jus cant stop!!

The word for today is legs, lets go bak 2 mine and spread the word!!

Us girls r like hoovers, u neva no wot we’re gonna suck next!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away but if the doctor is cute then screw
that damn fruit!!

Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69 ,just for fun or getting paid,
everyone luvs getting laid!!

~*~Wanna play army,ok u lay down and i’ll blow the hell outta yah~*~

Lads r like computers, they freeze up on ya, they play games wit ya, n u can
turn em on by the push of a buton!

Kids in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat causes

**The only man u can trust is ur daddy**

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hated me. He told me I was being
ridiculous. Everyone hadn’t met me yet!
*~If I am what I eat, then Im cheap, quick and easy~* Guys are like air, u
cant live without em!

Screw twizzlers, ill make your mouth happy!

A drunken mans words r a sober mans thoughts

Make love not war, condoms r cheaper than guns!

If u climb a ladder 4 success, don’t let the boys looks up ur dress, they’ll
say ur cute, they’ll say ur fine, but 9 months later they’ll say “its not

The more I drink, the better u get!

Playas get played, pimps get payed, so try 2 be both, coz they both get

U look at me and see innocence, but baby u dont no wot ive experienced!

I had a party last nite, but u didnt cum, your boyfriend did tho… twice!

I realised smiling is the third best thing I can do with my mouth, wana try
the other 2 with me?

Im not a whore, Im not a slut, Ive just got more 2 shake & strut, so all u
hoes who think your it, compared 2 me your nuffin but shit!

Can I hav a pic of u 2 show santa wot I want 4 crimbo?

Be a surfer, not a prick, wax your board, not your dick!

Lads r like roses, watch out 4 the pricks!

I was standin in the park, wonderin why frizbee’s got bigger as they came
closer, then it hit me!

Dont wear a frown, its neva in style, just do ur best 2 SMILE SMILE SMILE!

Dont ask me complicated questions! im blonde!

When god made me, he was just showin off!!

Its beta 2 let sum1 think ur an idiot than 2 open ur mouth n prove it!!

Lads call me a milkshake maker, coz i make em nice ‘n’ creamy!

Im not feein myself 2day, can i feel u?


Jesus luvs u, but every1 else thinks ur an ass hole!

*I ran up the door, Closed the stairs, Said my pajamas, And put on my
Turned off the bed, and hopped in the light, all because you kissed me

*Men are kings.. Kings are Rulers.. Rulers are 30cm.. Still think you’re a

*If You Can’t Amaze People With Your Intelligence.. Confuse them with your

!! ScReW sKiTtlEs…CoMe TaStE mY rAiNbOw !!

Sex is like McDonalds ……….. I’m Lovin it!

Don’t do it behind the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbours aint!

~ I like my guys like I like a basketball ~ one on one, with as little
dribbling as possible ~

If your name was homework, id be doing u on my desk rite now!

God made butter, god made cheeze, god made u 4 me 2 squeeze, god made wisky,
god made pepsi, but how did he make u so fukin sexy??

*Happiness is like wetting ur pants, every1 can see it but only u can feel

Smile! it scares the shit out of ppl!

Mars evolves round the sun, but the world evolves round me!

Nice pants! Can I test the zipper?!

1 vodka, 2 vodka, 3 vodka, floor!

How many hot, rich, funny, sweet guys are there out there?…two, but
they’re dating each other!

The only person cuter than me is my reflection!

They say kissing is the language of lurve, care 2 indulge in a lil convo?!

This day was a total waste of make-up!

Dont look at me in that tone of voice!

God created men 1st, cos u always make a rough draft b4 a masterpeice!!

If bein hot is a crime, arrest me!

Do i look like a grocery item 2 u? I saw u checkin me out!

All good girls n boys go 2 heaven, thats y I wasnt invited!