Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, cr*ps on everything, and then
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by
sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die.
An office filled with cubicles.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s
heads pop up over the walls to see that’s going on.
(This also applies to
applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)
The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies turn into
when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the
kids or start a “home business”.
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
The fine art of whacking the cr*p out of an electronic device to get it to
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file.
Decisions that fall from the “adminisphere” are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
This is often affiliated with the dreaded “administrivia” needless paperwork
Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not
Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you’ve just made
a BIG mistake (e.g. you’ve hit ‘reply all’)
New Oxford Dictionary definitions
GOING FOR A McSH!T
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you’re
just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your
declaration to them that you’ll buy their food afterwards is known as a
McSh!t with Lies.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a ‘black box’.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at
3am in the morning.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze
cruise, even though you’re too drunk to remember where you live, how you
got here, and where you’ve come from.
Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
BREAKING THE SEAL
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
Modern Slang for ‘beers’, e. g. “Couple of Britneys please”
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works
in a burger restaurant. The ‘no-stars’ comes from the badges displaying
stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of
The contents of a Wonderbra, i. e. extremely impressive when viewed from
the outside, but there’s actually nought in there worth seeing.
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you
go: “Oo! Oo! Ho!
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you’re in the toilet
after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the
pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up,
whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed
Rhyming Slang for ‘Stella’ (the lager).
Cold (weather). An example of it would be – “It’s a bit Pearl Harbour” out
there (there’s a nasty nip in the air)
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she’s got
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
A deeply unattractive woman.
Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women