This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the Telstra repair
people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00p.m. When I
asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant
gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I
replied that I didn’t see how he would be able to do that since our
phones weren’t working. He also requested that we report future
outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.
She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the
card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary
to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I
signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared
the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck
would have it, they matched.

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the Koala
Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many Koala’s were being
hit by cars and she didn’t want them to cross there anymore.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That’s why we ask."

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I
     crossing with a co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the
buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light
is red.
     Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the
company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This
is fun. We should do this more often". Not a word was spoken. We all
     looked at each other with that cow-in-the-headlights stare.

I work with an individual who plugged her power board back into itself
and for the life of her couldn’t understand why her system would not
turn on.
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
     and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "it’s open!"
To which he replied, "I know – I already got that side."

Now don’t you feel better?