This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the Telstra repair
people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00p.m. When I
asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant
gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I
replied that I didn’t see how he would be able to do that since our
phones weren’t working. He also requested that we report future
outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.
She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the
card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary
to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I
signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared
the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck
would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the Koala
Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many Koala’s were being
hit by cars and she didn’t want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That’s why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I
was
     crossing with a co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the
buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light
is red.
     Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the
company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This
is fun. We should do this more often". Not a word was spoken. We all
just
     looked at each other with that cow-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4
I work with an individual who plugged her power board back into itself
and for the life of her couldn’t understand why her system would not
turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #5
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle
     and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "it’s open!"
To which he replied, "I know – I already got that side."

Now don’t you feel better?

ImPatrickDownes