In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (and that would
be how???….)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion:Defrost.”
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): “Do not turn upside down.”
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.”
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.”
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine:”Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause
drowsiness.”
On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.”
On Sunsbury’s peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.”
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts.”
On a child’s superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly.”
On a Swedish chainsaw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals.”