Commenting on a complaint from a Mr Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a
spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time
of year.
It’s possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the
explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)

Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in
her knickers. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her
Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News)

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because
they cannot issue a description. It’s a Special Branch vehicle and they
don’t want the public to know what it looks like.
(The Guardian)

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was
rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented,
"This sort of thing is all too common".
(The Times)

At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard on the
spot and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but
he didn’t have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown
his Land Rover off the cliff.
(Aberdeen Evening Express)

Mrs Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her
reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her
garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945.
She recalled "He’d always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses
came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out "Heil
(Bournemouth Evening Echo)