A little boy about 12 years old walked down the street dragging a
flattened frog on a string behind him.
He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on
the door.
When the Madam answered it,she saw the little boy and asked what he
wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I
have the money to buy it, and I’m not leaving until I get it".
The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in.
Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked,
"Do any of the girls have any venereal diseases?" Of course the Madam
said No . He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get
shots after making love with Amber………..THAT’S the girl I want".
Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it,
the cynical Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.
He headed down the hall dragging the squashed amphibian behind him.
Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the
Madam, and headed out the door.
The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in
the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"
He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents
are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a
baby-sitter.After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me
because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys.
She will then get the Dose that I just caught. When Mum and Dad get
back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he’ll give her
one in the car and he’ll catch the dose.
Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter’s, he and Mum will go to
bed and have sex, and Mum will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes
to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mum
and catch the clap, and HE’S the bastard I want to get …. ‘cos he
ran over my FROG!"
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a
sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish."
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord
said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will
grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can
drive over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is very
materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of
undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific!
The
concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to
justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and
think
of another wish, a wish you think would honour
and glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he
said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how
they
feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent
treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say ‘nothing’, and
how I
can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?"