This could turn into one of my most raw posts I’ve ever created. I’m not being overly dramatic about the subject and it might prove carthatic in writing it.
It’s about adoption. And I think I’ll be breaking the whole thing down into parts, so welcome to part one!
Fact 1. I’m adopted.
I’ve always known this to be the case and it’s never been hidden from me.
I was adopted from birth back in 1974, just prior to changes in the law regarding adoption and confidientiality. I don’t want to bore you with the full details as I think I’d send you off to a blog enduced coma, needless to say, it does affect the story later on.
Fact 2. I’m an only child
I was adopted and brought up by some amazing people, but I was on my own for the duration of growing up.
Fact 3. When you’re adopted, it can slightly mess with your mind.
You do have a little, sometimes bigger, fear of rejection. This can depend on the circumstances of your adoption and how it was handled.
Fact 4, Long Lost Family doesn’t tell you the full story sometimes.
We’ve all watched LLF with Davina and Nicky and gotten emotional at the stories – plus how many coats has Davina got, and does Nicky use a computer anywhere other than in a coffee shop.
Fact 5. Learning or wondering about the reasons why you were adopted can also mess with your mind.
When I was 10 I remember being an absolute nightmare with my AF (Adopted Family). I have found letters that were sent to the adoption society asking for any information about my birth mother. Later on, I’ll explain more about some of this.
Fact 6. Knowing you also have an older brother when you’re adopted – yes – it’s a tough one to take on board.
I was told a story when I was young about an older brother who also got adopted. My adoption was delayed as his was being processed at the time. I gathered that he was a year older than me. Growing up as a single child, but thinking or knowing I had a brother out there – yep, you guessed it. Messed with my mind a little.
Okay, so far there’s lot of facts and no real story. To be honest, not sure how I want to do this, or how it will come across. There’s a lot of things that have been unsaid in public, and a lot of things that could prove problematic, but this is one of the reasons to why I want to do this.
Maybe, this will be part one of a larger story? I kind of hope that writing this will help me process things, as the last 2 years have been much of a whirlwind. And in doing this, I just wanted to see what other adoptees thought too. And when I say two years, it’s nothing to do with any pandemic – well, I say that, but in a way I suppose it has.
Fact 7. When you’re adopted you tend to defend your birth parents far too easily.
For me this is true. In a call I had with my birth mum (oh, sorry, spoiler, but I have had some contact), I was fairly quick to say something along the lines of “oh, I understand the reasons… ” or “I don’t blame you”. Okay, a phone call isn’t the best way to communicate this way for the first time – and if I’m honest, I hate the phone – too much can get missed in talking, social cues, hand gestures, facial gesturing.
I think for now, I’ll end this, but I will return (in fact I have started on the second part already), and once it’s live, I’ll keep it within this post somewhere
But in the meantime, Thanks for Checking Me Out.