This could turn into one of my most raw posts I’ve ever created. I’m not being overly dramatic about the subject and it might prove carthatic in writing it.
It’s about adoption. And this is a continuation of the previous blog (below blog fans!)
Fact 8. Being adopted means you have to deal with a lot of extra stuff.
When I say stuff, I mean, feelings, emotion, things that you didn’t sign up for. And when I say “sign up for”, I mean it in fact not just a literal thing. It’s like an unwritten law that being adopted means you feel you have to protect your birth family. Now maybe there are people reading this and thinking otherwise, let me explain myself a little further.
At present I know more information than I did at the start of my searching journey.
I started quite late in life at the age of 43. Now to get my full case file, because I was adopted prior to a law change in 1974, I had to go through an intemediatary. This was to make sure I was supported properly and not going to get my actual birth file and go and knock on the door of my birth mum. Now in doing this I had amazing support from my AF – both my dad and mam had always said about me looking for my birth family (BF). I also have an amazing partner who pretty much gave me the push to do research about what I needed to do to search for my BF.
As much as you watch LLF, there was very little information out there about what you needed to do. I would often in the early internet, do searches of my birth mum’s name – which I did know, but never had a location or any other information to hand.
So my searching was limited, until the past 6 years or so. Anyway, I got my file, and found out lots of information, including the time of my birth. Which I’ll be honest, floored me completely. One little piece of information about my birth and the time of it, I was a bit shocked. When you don’t know much about your pre-adopted life, little things mean the most.
Through being registered on an adoption database in the UK and in Ireland (my elder brother was adopted in Ireland), I was able to get a contact with my elder brother. This was done via Tusla – Child and Family Agency in Ireland. He met with them, and they in turn passed on some information about him to me. I then sent over a letter for them to pass to him – but that’s kind of where it went a little cold. We don’t know the full circumstances of his life at the moment, and I’ll be honest this is one of the hardest things for me to cope with, but I have to accept that maybe he’s not ready at the moment, but the door is always left open.
So, back in 2019, the trail for my birth family had kind of hit a wall. The official routes hadn’t really come up with anything concrete so I was left wondering what my next step should be.
And that next step, I’ll tell you more about in the next part of this story.
Thanks for checking me out.